Finding Connection: Coping with Holiday Loneliness as an Older LGBTQ+ Adult

The holiday season is often described as “the most wonderful time of the year,” filled with family gatherings, traditions, and celebration. But for many older LGBTQ+ adults, this time can bring something very different — feelings of loneliness, isolation, or painful reminders of rejection or loss.

Understanding the Challenge

Older LGBTQ+ adults are more likely than their non-LGBTQ+ peers to live alone, be single, or have limited contact with family. Many grew up in a time when being openly LGBTQ+ meant risking discrimination or losing loved ones. As a result, traditional family support networks may not be as strong.During the holidays, when media and community life emphasize family togetherness, those differences can feel even more pronounced.

Common Feelings

• Disconnection: Missing chosen family or remembering those who have passed away.

• Anxiety: Pressure to attend family gatherings where identity might not be fully accepted.

• Nostalgia and grief: Thinking of past holidays or relationships that once brought joy.

• Social withdrawal: Avoiding events to protect against discomfort or rejection.

  
  

Recognizing holiday loneliness in older LGBTQ+ adults and the associated emotions is the first step to addressing them with compassion and care.

Ways to Cope and Connect

1. Reach Out to Chosen Family:

   The LGBTQ+ community has long embraced the idea of “chosen family” — friends and allies who provide love and understanding. Schedule a meal, video call, or small get-together. Even one genuine connection can make the season brighter.

   
   

2. Join LGBTQ+ Community Events:

   Many local organizations (like Carolina Aging Alliance) host inclusive holiday gatherings, potlucks, or support groups. Being around others who share your experiences helps replace isolation with belonging.

   
   

3. Volunteer or Give Back:

   Helping others can renew purpose and connection. Look for volunteer opportunities that welcome older adults — from community kitchens to LGBTQ+ youth mentoring programs.

   
   

4. Create New Traditions:

   Traditions don’t have to follow old rules. Decorate your home in your style, cook a favorite meal, or attend a local concert or faith service that celebrates diversity.

   
   

5. Seek Support When Needed:

   Loneliness can sometimes deepen into depression or anxiety. Talking to a counselor — especially one experienced in LGBTQ+ issues — can provide new ways to heal and reconnect.

   
   

You Are Not Alone!

Every season brings opportunities for renewal and connection. Whether through community events, advocacy groups, or simply reaching out to a friend, there are many paths to belonging. The Carolina Aging Alliance is here to ensure no one has to navigate the holidays in isolation.

If you or someone you know feels lonely this season, please reach out. Connection begins with one small step — and we’re here to take it with you.